Time seemed to have slowed down these past 7 days, i feel like iam locked away in another dimension, in a place where the fingers of the watch ticks 1/2 a second slower, the digital timer on the face of my notebook freezes still and iam constantly looking for something to do - something to keep me occupied, to kill time, to sink deep into, storybooks, computer games, flicking through the TV channels... subconsciously the next thing i find myself doing, is to look at the face of the watch once again... "tick... tock... tick... tock..."
Lovely pictures of her occupy every single possible item i own. From my Nokia mobile phone to the Acer laptop to a slot in the Gucci wallet.... and that includes the deepest darkest reaches of my mind. Its strange how the human body reacts to the missing presence of a loved one after a certain amount of time spent apart. It feels like a part of you is missing, a familiar face, that unique and gentle voice, that sweet scent and that warm and loving touch - her presence.
Unusual emotions fill you, frustration, the lack of patience, gloominess... they seem to find a way into your mind creeping pass your defences without detection... consuming you. Then you snap! unintentionally you just barked a nasty remark or gave someone that chilly stare cause he or she was curious whats wrong with you and thats how you send him off... you regret your actions.
A little bit of these feeling and emotions have revolved around my life for these pass 7Days and iam not proud of it. Suppressing the inner daemon of lonelyness seems harder when ones away from the one he / she loves.
Here are some Signs of Loneliness
FYI: Iam not saying these points stated below have happened to be in the pass 7Days, they are but just a few examples ive managed to find out from the web ( The Robert Gordon University, Schoolhill, Aberdeen, AB10 1FR, Scotland, UK: a Scottish charity, registration No. SCO13781). I would like to highlight some of the more common signs.
No interest in activities or other people
Preoccupation with yourself
Being self critical
Criticising others
Being dissatisfied with all relationships, friends or family
Inability to form and maintain relationships
Feeling your needs are not being met and there is no way they will be
Overreacting to everyday events that you would usually deal with
Feeling separate, self-pitying, sad, nervous and disorientated
Negative attitudes
Feeling lethargic
Feeling helpless, worthless, unacceptable, powerless and self-absorbed
Low self-esteem and feelings of emptiness
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Iam sure at least one of these signs have occurred to each and every single one of us. As the saying goes "Its human to feel this way". Ordinary people like you and I are bound to stumble upon such problems in life, the only questions is "How do you overcome it"?
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Consider coming to speak to a counsellor who will help you explore what is going on and help you find your way through it
Try and be realistic about what others may be able to do for you and don’t ask too much of them in case it just frightens them away. This will help to avoid disappointment and frustration
Take time to ask yourself how you feel. Don’t mistake loneliness for depression in case this makes things worse
Understand that loneliness and being alone are not the same. Being alone is healthy and necessary as most of us need our space at some time or other. Thinking, reading and reflecting on life are often best done alone
Loneliness and homesickness do not need to take your life over. It can help to sort out what is going on so that you can work on it and improve your situation
Take time to choose the people you want to spend time with. Many lonely or homesick people look for friendships in the wrong places whether or not they have anything in common, which can be disappointing when it doesn’t work out
Reading self help books can help identify any ways you maybe acting which interfere with making satisfying friendships
Sometimes lonely people feel that it is not ok to have any conflict in their relationships or that they are going wrong if there is conflict. In fact conflict can be healthy and strengthen a relationship
Some friendships/relationships just don’t work so it is helpful to recognise that rather than blame yourself or others
Considering other peoples’ feelings can help build friendships
Practise meeting and talking to one new person each week to reduce your homesickness and loneliness. Let people other than family or friends from home fill the gaps in your life.
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So cheer up! whoever you are that is currently in such a state. I'd leave you with this phrase i picked up while i was serving my National Service in the Army: "Tough times don't last, Tough man do"!
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PS* Edda if you are reading this, i want you to know how sorry Iam for my actions, for the little ups and downs we have faced in the past few days. Looking @ you through a web cam is like waiting for the layers to defrost around that mouth watering candy which is frozen within the block of solid ice( i wish it was as easy as chewing to the core of the chocs i got you haha)... umm what am i saying ANYWAY, i cant wait to catch up with you in 2 days time Sweetheart! Iam missing you so much. Oh baby and how much do i owe the "cow bank" anyway?
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